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Appearances

Having an illness is like having a full-time job except that you can't quit whenever you want. Everyday I dedicate at least ten hours to this "job". I spend 70+ hours per week on dialysis. How does one balance that with a regular life? I try my best to live a regular life and to pretend that I don't have any issues. I do this for myself but also for those around me. I feel some pressure to have a productive adult life but I'm cool with it because I'd prefer not to waste whatever time I have. I feel conflicted because working means that it's harder to spend time with the people I love, which is something I feel very strongly about. It's very important to me to see my people, but striving for capitalistic excellence doesn't really help the situation. I wish it was easier to balance. If I didn't have to do dialysis I would have more time at night to go places. If I work at 7am on a Monday I have to be at home relatively early to connect because I might have to leave my house at 6am. If I want to get a full ten hours of dialysis I have to connect by 7pm in order to disconnect at 5am. That's not always easy to maintain. I don't always want to give up my Sunday night just to work Monday morning but I sorta have to. It's kinda a requirement.


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