The simple fact is that I am sick.
I have Post Concussion Syndrome and an Aquired Brain Injury. I have chronic pain from the whiplash from the impact as well.
"But you dont look sick"
It slaps me in the face everytime.
What does that look like? I think to myself, I may not have a bandage over one eye or a plaster covering my leg but it is an unequivocal fact that I have a brain injury.
Negotiating the acceptance, denial and resoning that comes with such injury is complex. I am riding a rollercoaster of emotions, mood swings and I cry so easily. But even as I successfully navigate through this injury and learning to live with it, the fact and blatent ignorance of individuals, is like a stab to the heart.
Is there a way I should look?
I haven't quite figured this out yet but what I have come to know is that if one can't visually see an injury, bruise, scar then blissful ignorance trots on in and states, she must be faking it.
You cant see the brain, its inside the skull. It would make it easier to prove to some if you could point to a picture or read a clinical diagnosis but really what is there to be gained. Don't let them make you feel invisible. You are important and fighting a heavy battle. If they chose to ignore the facts, support your journey or write you off, then it is their loss. You are important and loved and are absolutely justified in your motions of decision making, allowing for your injury and restrictions.
Don't let the inconsideration of the shadowed eyes determine your worth.
You are worthy of love and support no matter how you look.