One of my absolute favorite quotes by Roy T. Bennett. “Change course, but don’t give up”. This could mean so much to so many, but for me it’s been living a life of total uncertainty.
I didn’t grow up having my life mapped out, or have the greatest role models to look up to. I’ve lived and still live my life according to my “now moments”. When I discuss my illnesses, I talk about them in present tense. Because our lives are constantly changing courses.
I‘ve been abused physically, emotionally, mentally, but have learned to forgive and let go. My father has been a drug addict my entire life and was always in and out of prison. My mother let me blame her, and being a mom myself, I understand why she did it and I could never thank her enough for that burden she placed on herself. In September, I lost my cousin and a piece of me died with her that day. She was the one who was supposed to always be there. It‘s like she has been gone for so long, but it still feels as though she was just right here cracking jokes and holding my hand through the hard times.
Life changes courses. Through the rough patches of all of the in between gaps, I’ve learned to allow others in and become my support when I need it. Even in those times, it can feel lonely and isolating.
I’ve found peace, and I’ve found noise. I’ve found sadness, and I’ve found laughter.
Coaching cheer has always brought me so much joy. The community, the support, the hard work & dedication. I took a step back this year to focus on my health, and my healing. Boy do i miss it! I’ve found that I really enjoy writing, even if it’s just for me to see. Being a supportive influence has truly helped me get through my own struggles. I found a passion rather than a hobby, through talking to others.
Your story can be so similar to a total stranger but it’s that “now” moment that conversation was destined to happen. The people I’ve met through this movement and the immense support is something I can’t really get anywhere else. I have incredible friends and an insane amount of support in my inner circle, but for me, this is almost a way of escaping. An escape from day to day struggles. An escape to go and be supportive to someone else. An escape from time.
Our lives are constantly changing courses, but if you don’t give up, it may just lead you right where you’re supposed to be.