I’m turning the hot water on in our master bath letting it run to heat up while I grab my jammies. I grab two towels and my conditioner bottle from my kids bathroom. Which just so happens to be our front bath and the bathroom I normally use daily but today I decided to use our master bath. Today I decided to be brave.
The water is just right...piping hot and perfect. If you’re a person like me and can’t tolerate cold temps then you know. So, I’m in the middle of my usual routine and I’m thinking to myself, “oh my gosh, I’m standing!” As I wash my hair I am feeling my heart rate rise as it always does but for now I’m okay. I’m starting to feel my usual arm pain and heavyness due to my Dysautonomia IST and RA but I’m okay. I’m rinsing and rinsing thinking “wow, I’m doing this. This is so cool!” Wondering if I can finish my shower. I am now amazed at my body letting me shower like a normal person again.
Can you imagine the simple task of showering being this exciting? No..then you’ve never experienced debilitating health issues and you’re lucky for that. I normally use our kids shower/front bath due to my health issues. I moved to my kids bathroom when I could no longer power through standing while showering. It was a scary experience loosing my vision and balance, my blood pressure dropping and my heart would raise to the 180s+ just trying to clean myself. My Husband would come running any moment he heard something too heavy hitting the ground. Eventually it became too much for me to endure and too much for my family to worry about. I started to shower weeks at a time and not every other day like I did in the past because the very thing I needed to do for my health would/could be something that could hurt me further. Being Tachycardic, fatigued and sick after showering or trying to get ready isn’t fun. So after my momma gave me her shower chair I showered more and more with the confidence that I wouldn’t physically hurt myself in the process. This became my comfort while showering.
Such simple tasks can become overwhelming and detrimental to ones health. If you’re reading this and are abled bodied and your overall healthy..be thankful. You don’t know if your next shower will be your last. For many people like me, it is sometimes. That’s scary to live with.
I never thought I’d be so happy to shower standing up again. I’m so proud of that moment. I am hopeful I get more. I also just hope I can continue to be safe while trying to be clean like the rest of you, even if that means sitting for the rest of my life. But this is what it’s like being Chronicaly Ill and Disabled. That’s my Chronic Ailment Accomplishment. 🥳
Until next time,