• plutolex

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Hello everyone,

As a chronically ill person, the coronavirus is creating a huge sense of unease and stress. This is a truly unbelievable situation. It's hard to focus on anything other than the coronavirus. It's all we talk about. I google the term "coronavirus" five times a day, maybe more. It's putting us out of jobs. It's making us fearful for our lives and the lives of our loved ones. Are we putting others in danger or are we safe? I was once on immunosuppressants for my kidney transplant and I feel like many people don't understand the need to be super careful. My main suggestion would be for people in compromised situations to stay away from people as much as possible. Be careful everyone! Dialysis makes it riskier for me as well. I probably could have been more careful. I'm already feeling so much stress from all my bodily issues, but this is making it worse. I don't know what to do with myself. I'm so tired lately. I also realized that living with a bunch of healthy young adults puts good and bad pressure on me. It's good because I feel pressure to not be a degenerate which forces me to do things even when I don't feel like doing things. It's also bad because I feel almost ashamed when I'm tired and don't feel like doing anything. I feel pathetic and lame but perhaps I should try to remember that I've been on dialysis for three years and give myself a break. It feels like some people have some high expectations of me and that I can never catch up. I want to go back to school. I want to study more. Unfortunately it doesn't feel like the right time in my life because I have to pay rent. The only jobs I've been able to get were photo related jobs. They're both incredibly exhausting and I just do them for the money. It's my only motivation. I find it fun to work the events but when I have to work too many days in a row it's so tiring. Not having a stable job is the most stressful thing in this capitalism-oriented world. I could work on my feet but probably should work in an office setting because it's more relaxing. My body is tired as well as my brain. My brain is so over this sh*t. I'm sick of having health issues. Coronavirus probably got in the way of finding a living donor too. I had some hits but now I don't know what's happening. Once again, apologies for being all over the place. This is where my brain is at these days. I find it so hard to focus most of the time. I hope to one day feel better.


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