EXISTING

Whats so hard about being ME? Being a mom, def should come with a manual.

That would actually help.

Parenting, Wow. Very difficult at times.

Being a Housewife..Not As Easy As It Looks.

Doing daily tasks, Oh My Gosh! It hurts so much.

Being the best Fiancé I can be, you’d think it comes easy but relationships are very very intricate.

But with all of that...

Being Me is the hardest thing ever.

Being Me, being Chronically Ill..being disAbled.

This pain I feel deep within me.

It’s excruciating.

It’s debilitating, it’s demanding,

And it takes Every Bit Of Me.

Every ounce of my being.

It’s draining, intentionally moving.

It’s everything inside me. Trying to take over my body, my mind.

It’s doesn’t go away. It never will.

It’s permanent.

Down right convincing too.

Never letting go.

Holding different pieces of me at different times.

I never get a break, never a moment of silence.

The funny thing is, is I was talking about my pain. My hurt. My ailments.

I’m sure that’s where some minds went.

That I’d be complaining of my motherhood but in actuality being Me, Chronically Ill Me is what’s hard.

I’m nauseous yet hungry and bloating.

It’s taxing each and every flare.

Living “minute by minute,” each day.

I’m 30, young and have my whole life ahead.

But instead I’m here at home, recovering from being Me.

Resting from doing Me.

Catching up on sleep because I Can’t Ever Sleep.

Being Chronically Ill Me.

Suffering. Swimming but still Sinking..

So wanna know what’s so hard for me over here..

Being Me..

Simply Existing.