If I'm being completely honest, the last few weeks have been really hard. My health is at what I feel is the worst it has ever been. My Crohn's Disease is in remission, which I am thankful for. My HS and Psoriasis are managed with Humira. However, I am still the sickest I have ever felt and looked.
A few weeks before nursing school started, I started fainting and since then things have not been the same. I am still having GI issues that are being tested at the end of June at Mayo clinic, but that apparently is separate from what is going on. I have these dizzy and light headed spells that are becoming more and more frequent. I even faint at least once a week at this moment.
Mentally I am struggling. I am taking a quarter off of school to be able to focus on my health. And while I know this does not mean I am a failure, emotionally I feel like one. Plus, it does not help with the grieving of a life I once had. Even the life where all I had wrong was Crohn's Disease. I now have a shower chair to assist with showers because I fainted a few weeks ago in the shower. I am not allowed to drive. I cant go for long walks. I'm looking into service dogs. I have to sometimes sit in the middle of a grocery store because I am dizzy and do not want to faint. This diagnosis is scary and I miss my old life. I miss being able to go to class and still have energy to study. I miss having energy to randomly dance around the house.
Physically and mentally I am struggling. I know things will get better, but I wanted to be real with y'all on everything going on. I appreciate your support and all of you who read these blogs. Thank you so much for everything!!