Fear of Meds

How many of you have to take medication daily?

How many of you have had to get a vaccine?

How many of you take multiple meds, several, dozens even?

How many of you witnessed a family member abuse medication/or you yourself have?

How many of you have an allergy or an adverse reaction to a specific medication/s or vaccines?

How many of you have had to have something removed from your body, you had to stop taking something or even really contemplate and consider an option because there were/are recalls on the market?

How many of you had a family member die from medication complications or a vaccine?

So many reasons to be afraid of medication options even when faced with chronic and life threatening diseases.

For me, a lot of these ring true. A lot of these have affected how I process needing to be on medication and then actually being on them. I have had to be on medication since I was a young child. From having asthma attacks and needing medical staff to emergently step in and save my life on numerous occasions. To then Endo treatment and migraine treatment and the meds that come along with trial and error. Being in and out of hospitals and doctors offices...I’m very familiar with the process of being given meds. Whether they write it down on a small rectangular piece of paper or emergently administer them through IV on the spot, I’m familiar.

That doesn’t mean I can’t be afraid because I am afraid and that’s the reason for this blog today. I am afraid of medication and I’m feeling alone. The other day I brought up to the Invisible Wave Team my feelings about the vaccine. How I am afraid to take it although I know I need it and how my past history has played a part in this.

Mental Heath and Physical go hand in hand. It’s true for so many. Let’s start with the first one. I’ve been on medication daily since 8-9yrs old. I have had many vaccines. In America Vaccines start At Birth. I take multiple meds, several at times and have since 8-9yrs old and that’s a journey in itself. I have witnessed multiple family members abuse medications and drugs. Even living and sharing a room with one. I get Anaphylactic with Benedryl. Which doctors always seem to question as if that’s something I like to make up. I always respond with “let’s try then and maybe then you’ll believe me.” Which is sad and scary that I have to call them out that way. That’s traumatizing as well. Imagine needing a concoction for migraines but you can’t have it because you’re allergic to it and then doctors don’t want to help you and don’t believe you. Sucks. I’m also allergic to the Pertussis Whooping Cough vaccine and had a horrible reaction to the Mirena IUD which lead to it being emergently removed. I had to help my grandmother fight her doctors with a hernia mesh because they wanted to place one while the mesh liners were being recalled. It knew at a young teen age advocating was something I needed to learn. I’m still learning and i’m 30.

So many experiences play in my head when I’m being prescribed something. I get anxiety and sometimes irrational fears play in my head. I have had many discussions with my therapist about this Fear of Meds and how it plays a part in my medical journey.

Now in the middle of an epidemic a new vaccine is needed and it’s stirring up more emotions and fears than ever before. These are the reasons for this blog. I know I’m not alone...

Join in on the conversation Monday March 15th where I will have a blog prompt for you all to have an opportunity to share your experiences.

Until then

-Belinda

@thechronicallyillqueen