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Hurts To Live

Low on spoons,

Sleep no longer intrigues.

I’m officially a Painsomnia Goon,

Drained and permanently fatigued.

My heart at rest, beats over 100.

Into a Humming Bird I have transformed.

Dysautonomia;IST have constructed,

Loss of balance and bad blood flow uniformed.

Shocks, pinches and pain so inflicting,

Bad Cartilage, Bad Vertebrae.

Scoliosis keeps twisting.

Inflammation and pain so deep

It boroughs into my joints,

Ankles, knuckles, my whole body creaks,

Rheumatoid Arthritis you definitely do disappoint.

Electricity inside my veins,

Muscles always burning,

Pain travels all about, free rein,

My Fibromyalgia will always be purging.

Asthma gripping each individual lung,

like they are putty in ones hand,

You make it hard to breath in deep and expand,

So sharp when I exhale,

I just can’t withstand.

Reoccuring cysts and contractions,

Nausea and bloating, i’m ready to burst,

Endo claiming pieces of my uterus in fractions,

Under this debilitating pain I’m submersed.

Light sensitivity,

Sharp zaps and eye pain,

So much pressure, can’t think or hear straight.

My usual, it’s Cluster Migraines.

Illnesses overwhelmingly take over,

Im loosing all control,

Pain is the new composer,

Somehow taking over my Boss Role.

Hurts to walk, Hurts to stand,

Hurts to exist, Hurts To Live,

Definitely not what I had planned.

But it is my life living with Multiple Chronic Illnesses.

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Hey guys! I was struggling to figure out what to write today and then I realized I never updated y'all on my trip to Mayo Clinic. If you have not read my previous blogs or followed my journey on Insta