I’m tired of being strong...

One thing you hear often when you become ”sick”, or go through hardships, or basically exist just by breathing is...... “You are so strong”.

Now, I’m not knocking this down for I believe we all have to remain strong in someway or another. We all go through some unimaginable crazy sh**! I’m simply saying that being strong is EXHAUSTING! Mentally, physically, and emotionally draining.

Why is it that we are sometimes expected to be the hero of our own story, and also to someone else’s?! We don’t wear a cape or a face mask and swoop in to save the day. It’s so tiring! I am here to tell you that it is okay to be tired. It is okay to be exhausted. It is okay to take a break from being the strong one!

I’ll tell you why I’m tired of it....

because living a life of uncertainty everyday is tiring. And to be frank with you, it’s F’n Scary!!!!! It’s like “Hi Ho Hi Ho it’s off to the hospital we go.....again.”

I found myself back in the hospital last week. I had a dystonic attack and I got locked up. Jaw, neck, & shoulder just locked up into place. Since I have history of this, they took me straight back and 6 nurses walked in to undress me, put my gown on, get my IV started and vitals. I was home within a couple of hours. After everything loosened up they let me sleep. Ever since, I’ve been extremely fatigued. My entire body aches. I can’t sleep though. I hate fatigue! But yet, here I am pushing on being “strong“.

I was thinking of today’s blog prompt: “What would be the perfect phone app for you to have on the phone in terms of helping you with your health?” This really got me thinking of staying strong. I know I say I’m tired of it, because reality I really am. But, if I had an app that alerted me everyday a motivational quote for the day with a reminder to take my medication it would get my day started. An app that will keep my appointments organized and alert me what papers or documents I need to bring. I need reminders constantly. I’m always writing in multiple notebooks and use my phone for reminders, appointments, just life stuff. If I had an app that had everything, even a recorder to record my thoughts. I feel stronger when I feel motivated to stay on top of things. I want someone to tell me ”there’s an app for that!” 🤣.

I encourage my fellow spoonies daily how strong they are and how they will get through whatever it is they’re going through. I’ve been pretty discouraged lately. But this morning I had a doctors appointment. i have a really good relationship with my primary and we got to talking about this movement and what we are doing here. She was so impressed and looks at me and says “you are going to change so many lives”. That statement made me feel so empowered. It made me feel like I am strong and I need to be strong for everyone reading this. I’m here to remind you all...

YOU ARE SO STRONG EVERY DAY, even when you don‘t realize it.💙🌊

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