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It’s just not fair...

I took our blog prompt public and asked friends for their own view and thought I would compare it to mine.

“How do you see the world compared to your friends without a chronic illness? What are things you think about others don’t?”

When I got sick, I was isolated. I fell into a deep depression and stayed in my bed for months. I became an absent parent, wife, daughter, and friend. It was difficult for me because I am dealing with so many different things all at once and don’t understand why this is happening to me. All I can think of is, it’s just not fair. For awhile I would only show the good parts of my life, because with social media thats just what people do. I suffered in silence while I watched my world begin to crumble. I worry about death...a lot more than I should. Because I was dead a couple of months ago. I was revived, scared, and lost. Now I have a blood clot to the main artery in my right lung and it’s not dispersing, and they can’t find where it’s coming from. I’m scared often when I pass out. My greatest fear is my kids finding me the one time I pass out and not wake back up. Why is this happening to me? Why am I on so many heart medications that give severe side effects and I’m still having the same problems for why I’m prescribed them? Why do I have dystonia and spasmodic torticollis? Why am I being told over and over that I have autoimmune and chronic inflammation, but no answers as to why? Why am I always in pain and gasping for air? Why me?! To be completely honest.... The way I see the world compared to others without a chronic illness, isn’t much different. Everyone has struggles. Everyone has worries and things they think about constantly. I’ve never met anyone that was perfect, have you?

I wanted to share some of the responses I got from a couple of friends...

Shaun G. said:

The world is broken and looks down on people with illnesses they don’t understand.”

Ashley H. says:

“Ash- being I’ve been living with this chronic pain since March now, my entire view has changed. Simple things I used to do without thought have become a struggle. Like putting up my hair or washing it. Driving. Even something small like turning my head to see my children. Not being able to exercise has affected my mental and physical state and that’s been the hardest thing for me because exercise is how I coped with my anxiety. Because of my condition I’ve learned to love the little things a lot more and really be grateful for the people I have in my life to help. Hope that helps!

I’ve never opened up about all this before but seeing you be so brave and show the world your struggles has inspired me as well. Keep pushing through! You’re a beautiful soul! ♥️“

Kerry B says:

“So I have fibromyalgia, severe depression and anxiety. My fibromyalgia has been at bay lately but depression and anxiety is a every day silent and invisible disease that I struggle with daily. Others who have no idea say “get over it”, which is the worst thing anybody could ever say to a depressed person‼️ I take daily meds and snuggle with my dog to deal. Others say “do something to distract yourself” “don’t drink” “don’t eat that” ... and I’m like “duh” Like, people just don’t understand!! This is a Chemical imbalance, not a choice.

I deal with a ton of invisible problems, probably stemming from a learning disability and nobody understanding me from a child. Sometimes I shrug it off. Sometimes I get really angry. But no matter what (‼️) I always try to understand those people who others make fun of or other people mock. Try to think of the other person. Whom might just be struggling that day!!! ❣️♥️💜“ My best friend writes:

“I read that and then my first thought was that I do have a chronic illness, but mine can be somewhat managed. I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism when I was 16 and this is most commonly a side effect of people with Hashimoto’s, an auto immune disease. Mine is different in that it’s more common. The struggle was actually finding a dr. That listened to my symptoms and not just the reading of my blood work (they ONLY look at 2-3 different things in your blood to determine your dosage). Bc the thyroid hormone is the most effected, that’s what they “treat” or help manage but side effects or huge. When I was diagnosed, it was bc my mom took me into my primary care saying she thought I was depressed. If they dose me too high, I feel anxiety. If they dose me too low, it makes me feel depressed. There are tons of other symptoms I’ve had like weight loss,

Always lethargic, Concentration and forgetful, Very dry skin, scalp and eyes. Acne, Digestive problems, Lump in my throat, Restless legs, Low sex drive and Feel cold often. Using the nutrition from arbonne and cutting out the inflammatory and addictive foods in the first time I ever got reprieve for a lot of the symptoms I had. A LOT!”

On an ending note, this just goes to show that we are not alone. Our comparison isn’t much different, as everyone has something they suffer with. It may be small, it may be something severe.. but the truth is, we’re all human.

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