You don’t think about how ones hands just do what they’re supposed to, do you?
When you want a drink you get it right?
When you want to put your shoes on, you do it?
When you want to open a door, your hand automatically turns the knob..no?
Well my hands can do the same..only for me.. I get excruciating pain the moment the signal is sent from brain to hand. It’s like my hand is saying “ha, yeah right, you’re going to have to exude all you’re energy just to lift a finger on me.” My hands immediately don’t want to respond and if they do, they hurt with every fiber in them. The muscles in my hands sometimes even forget what it’s supposed to do. Remember muscle memory? Forget it. It’s like my hands have developed amnesia. I drop things. My fingers cramp and get stuck. My fingers respond slow. They pop mid movement sometimes.
Can you ever imagine your hands not working the way they were designed. I never did. I assumed I’d be fine and dandy. I assumed I’d be able to tie my own shoes or wash my utensils with ease. I always thought I’d be able to do my own makeup/hair every day and be able to dress myself like nothing was wrong. I had always thought I’d be able to color and craft when I please. I thought I’d be able to do my daughters hair still and help teach her how to be glammed all the time. 😫
Rheumatoid Arthritis had other plans. This type of pain from doing simple everyday tasks is so diminishing. The pain is debilitating and saddening. Some days I’m so sad and mad at my body that I want to cut my own hands off. Some days I get so upset because I make more messes than I do masterpieces. Some days I sit with my hands just flopped on my lap because idk what to do with them. My body makes things 100% harder for me. My body is working against me everyday. My body is fighting itself every day. Rheumatoid Arthritis is working very hard to take a lot from me. Each day I’m trying to learn how to use my hands comfortably and safely. Each day I have to test my limits and reevaluate what I can and can’t do. Imagine living like that. I still can’t and yet I DO every day.
So to the average healthy person, don’t take what you have for granted. Appreciate the beauty in such Magnificent Appendages. Your hands do amazing things. Use them. Make something. Help someone. Try your best to appreciate the control you have because you never know when it can all change.
I am still trying to figure it all out. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. So for me put your phone down or whatever you’re holding to read this blog..put it down and look at your beautiful hands. Admire them. Thank them. They work hard for you and you don’t even think twice about it. Take care of them. Appreciate them. I know I never did.
I wish I had. 🙌🏼
Xoxo-TheChronicallyIllQueen