With a bit of FOMO- Fear Of Missing Out
As a chronically ill person I have learned that I am looked at and no longer considered “Fun.”
I can’t tolerate alcohol anymore.
I can’t tolerate being out late anymore.
I can’t go without naps and rest.
I’m always needing mini breaks.
I’m always needing to sit or lay down.
I’m always in too much pain.
So...what does this mean for my Social Life? It means I’m “No Longer Fun” anymore. It also means I have to pick and choose what I truly want to do with my time and who I truly want to spend it with. This is so hurtful to my Mental Health..my Relationships, my Body, my Confidence. It effects everything and the average healthy person would not even relate Chronic illness to such a hurtful side effect. Yet it is another obstacle I face as a Chronically Ill Mom.
So each invite I get, I 90% of the time have to turn it down. It means saying “No” to the ones I love immediately or canceling last minute and disappointing.
How does this make that person inviting you feel as well? Well, can you imagine always inviting someone over and they are always a “no show.” Before I became ill, it hurt when people showed up so late or not at all. Now that I’m ill and with my valid reason doing it to others still hurts and does so even more than before. I completely understand both sides now and it breaks my heart. As I am sure it does everyone involved. Something I’m sure we all are conscious about while being ill and trying to cherish our relationships. It comes with the territory. So anyway..this leads to less and less invites, outings and chit chat. You begin to separate and no longer understand each other. You begin to feel less and less fun and appear less on the guest lists and group messages...or at least I do. 😥
Here’s what I decided to do for myself..based purely off lots of therapy sessions and my personal life lessons. Find Like Friends who understand what you are going through. Truly understand. Whatever it may be that’s troubling you, there is a group out there waiting for you to join. Whether in person or online, finding friends or acquaintances is definitely top of the list of things to do for preserving ones mental health and helping alleviate the FOMO. It’s definitely been helpful for me and my journey. 💕💕🥄🥄